“Is this a wedding or a funeral?”
Park, a woman in her 60s, often finds herself baffled at weddings for her friends’ children. It’s not the ceremonies themselves that surprise her—it’s the attire of the guests. Among the friends of the bride and groom, black clothing has become the overwhelming norm. Some even carry bouquets while dressed in somber black pantsuits and jackets.
“Back in the day, there was a saying: for funerals, you bring money; for weddings, you dress up,” Park said. “Celebrations used to be about looking cheerful and festive. But it seems today’s etiquette has shifted.”
Indeed, wedding attire in South Korea has seen a dramatic evolution. These days, black dominates. Wearing vibrant colors risks harsh judgment, while flashy outfits—like sequined dresses or lace accents—are widely frowned upon. The unspoken rule? “Black casual” is the safest choice.
The reasoning behind this trend lies in keeping the spotlight squarely on the bride. Weddings, regarded as one of life’s most significant milestones, center on showcasing the bride as the undisputed star. Guests in muted tones provide a subdued backdrop, ensuring the bride’s white gown stands out. In group photos, this creates a “checkerboard effect,” with the bride shining at the center.
This custom was on full display at a high-profile wedding in Seoul earlier this month, attended by top celebrities such as BLACKPINK’s Jennie and actors Song Hye-kyo, Byun Woo-seok, and Kim Go-eun. All sported understated black ensembles, a uniformity that confused international fans. Online commenters asked, “Who passed away?” and called the scene “an office gathering disguised as a wedding.”
In contrast, Western weddings often feature a more vibrant dress code. While controversy occasionally erupts over a guest wearing white or a mother-in-law’s over-the-top gown, the expectation to stick to neutral tones simply doesn’t exist.
Jennifer, an American teaching English in South Korea, shared her own cultural misstep. “I wore a light blue dress to a Korean colleague’s wedding and got disapproving looks, like people were thinking, ‘Who does she think she is?’” she recalled. Meanwhile, a Korean woman admitted feeling equally embarrassed after wearing black to a Japanese wedding, only to find the other guests decked out in bright colors.
Not long ago, South Korean wedding guests often embraced bold, colorful outfits, standing proudly in the front rows of group photos to enhance the celebratory atmosphere.
But as weddings become increasingly lavish—and traditional milestones like dating, marriage, and childbirth grow rarer—couples feel intense pressure to make their ceremonies unforgettable. Opulent hotel venues, dramatic spotlighting, and extravagant décor have become the norm, creating an environment where guests worry about “upstaging” the bride.
The new definition of an unwelcome guest isn’t someone who skips the ceremony or gives a modest cash gift—it’s someone who risks outshining the bride. While beauty is subjective, wearing black has become a safeguard against accusations of having “impure intentions.” Critics have compared this phenomenon to a modern witch hunt.
Online, the debate over wedding attire rages on. On social media and wedding forums, guests who wear bright or embellished outfits near the bride are often ridiculed. Comments like, “What were they thinking?” and “Do they think it’s their wedding?” are common.
Even celebrities haven’t escaped scrutiny. Photos of stars wearing vibrant purple or yellow dresses to past weddings have resurfaced with scathing remarks branding them “legendary bad guests.”
Confession posts with titles like, “Is this dress too much for a wedding?” and “I wore a beige blazer—should I apologize?” have become staples of online communities.
Even South Korea’s traditional hanbok has largely disappeared from weddings, except for the mothers of the bride and groom. Once a celebratory staple, hanbok is now deemed too elaborate. One bride reportedly accused her future sister-in-law of trying to “ruin my wedding” by wearing a hanbok with a white top and red skirt, sparking a family feud.
Lee, a woman in her 30s, lamented the monotony of the trend. “I begged my friends to dress nicely for my wedding,” she said. “But in the end, everyone showed up in black. I think they’re just afraid of being criticized.”
